Marla, Unpacked

recent posts

  • The Thing About Perfect

    There’s a common belief that perfect doesn’t actually exist, that it’s unattainable and a facade that hides the flawed and messy realities of life. That searching for this social construct does more harm than good, with people experiencing anxiety that they’ll fall short and/or depression when they inevitably do.

    We see this happen with social media: people follow accounts with unrealistic portrayals of their perfect curated lives. What they don’t see is the pile of laundry or dirty dishes just out of frame, the tags still on that gorgeous dress that will be returned the next day or sponsored products they’re advertising at the cost of some of their soul.

    They just see the perfect, and then feel like shit about their own lives because maybe they rent an apartment filled with mismatched hand-me-down furniture, or perhaps they’re not living that “carefree” digital nomad life. Or parenting their own snotty nosed children isn’t as easy breezy as it appears for others online. It’s hard to be grateful when you’re focusing on what you’re missing out on instead.

    François-Marie Arouet, known by his pen name Voltaire, once famously wrote, “Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien.”. For us non-French speakers, this loosely translates to, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”.

    Voltaire, French writer and philosopher

    I’m no philosopher, but I can see the truth when it hits me between the eyes. As someone who has spent most of my life reaching for perfection, never giving up even though it was always just out of reach, there’s something really freeing in letting go and embracing good instead.

    Last week I wrote about perspective, and how I needed a dose of it in order to finally publish my first blog post. What’s a perfect post? Truthfully, I don’t care anymore. My goal is to keep writing and sharing, and to keep reminding myself that good is actually great.

  • Perfect?

    I’m not new to blogging, but am starting over. Again. For, like, the eleventeenth time.  And if there’s anything I struggle with more than an About Me page, it’s the first post. The pressure to post something perfect always makes me second guess my intentions.

    In a sea of millions (billions?) of blogs, what value can I bring to the table? Countless drafts have been written, with topics that run the gamut. None seemed worthy, and one after another was deleted. The familiar feelings of inadequacy started to tighten their grip around my throat.

    I reached out to a blogger friend the other day in a mild panic, asking for her input because I know she’s not one to sugar coat. She responded to say I was overthinking. Which, yeah.. that’s kind of my thing. Her text gave me pause, though. It was an opportunity to ask myself some questions, and to gain much needed perspective.

    So what if this isn’t perfect? So what if no one reads it? So what if the only view is from my husband because I sent him the link?

    So what?

    It’s a blog, Marla – you’re not saving lives.

    That’s really what I need to remember.

    Therefore, this post will serve as the proverbial bandaid being ripped off before another moment of overthinking can be had.

    What are my intentions for this blog? Like most people, my interests are varied. I want this to be a place I can share whatever I want, whether it’s a piece of art I particularly enjoy, photos of my cat or a new hobby I inevitably give up after buying all the supplies for. A little of this mixed in with a little of that. All without feeling the need to stick between any imaginary lines.

    For anyone starting out or feeling stuck, here’s your reminder to post the thing. Because in the grand scheme, it’s really not that deep.

    Until next time, friends. When I share a little bit about the cool guy above, and it will hopefully make more sense to you why I chose him for this post.